Attachment is typically a lesson to be learned because of the inherent ‘unpermanence’ of life. Sometimes in life things just kind of end. You will constantly be in this ebb and flow of starting life events and having life events come to an end, making the idea of attachment obsolete. Life, however, is largely about attachment. We attach ourselves to so many things that sometimes we forget what it’s like to be without burden.
We attach ourselves to people, opinions, superficial objects (money and time), as well as abstract notions. But as you navigate life, try to remember that the heavy burdens you carry can always be let go. Tibetan monks teach that happiness comes with scarcity, and that with fewer attachments comes a larger sense of internal peace because you are shedding layers, getting closer to yourself.
Attachments you should try letting go of:
The Approval of Others – You can’t make everybody happy all of the time. It’s not reasonable to think so, either. People will always have opinions of you and what you’ve got going on, the best thing you can do is not waste your time or energy on them.
Social Media – I recently read somewhere that those who do not participate in social media are much happier than those who do. Leaving a toxic world that is based on likes, shares and comments will only benefit you. Do your best to live in the present moment.
Time – Simply put, if you’re constantly counting down the seconds, waiting for happiness to come to you then you’re doing it wrong. This is the first step in refusing to live in the moment, which places your happiness in moments that have yet to happen. Live life as the fleeting moment in eternity that it is.
Your Exes – As Macbeth once said, “What’s done is done.” Holding onto any aspect of past relationships is like holding onto a dirty sponge. You typically only create a bigger mess, and you’re left scratching your head wondering why you didn’t just toss it and get a new one.
Indecision – Being indecisive is possibly one the worst curses to have in this world. It gets you nowhere, and in fact, can keep you stagnant; shackled to the ground as you’re trying to desperately take the next step. Start being assertive with your decision-making, because consequences and regrets are better than nothing.
Self-Doubt – In a world that places judgment on your every move, it would make sense to try to live without self-doubt. If you can’t be confident in yourself, what can you be confident in? Learn to trust yourself, love yourself, be yourself, forgive yourself.. Lighten that load and start living.
Comparisons – It’s easy to find yourself looking at others in relation to how you stack up against the average. These comparisons will only bring you down. Know that you don’t owe anyone anything, and that where you are in life versus where others are in life is not indicative of success or failure, but rather that we are all at different points in the journey of life.
Toxic Friendships – Sometimes in life we have to deal with people who we think are friend, but are actually foe. Just like with your exes, these people who create toxicity in your life need to be gotten rid of, posthence. There is no room in your future chapters for these shadows. Evaluate your relationships and decide which ones bring the most growth and happiness.
Regrets – Dwelling on past events is a giant waste of time and energy. If all you can do is sit around and lament over everything you’ve done wrong in life then you’re only going to perpetuate more suffering in the future. There’s nothing you can do about it now.
Nostalgia – Yeah, everyone wants to go back to the days of being a kid. It was the best of times and the worst of times. However, unless you’ve figured out the mystery of time travel, there’s no way to go back now. Being an adult is, unfortunately, something that we all have to participate in at some point. Daydreaming of the good times behind you is just as pointless as daydreaming about the better days ahead of you.
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